So that 1987 Pontiac TranAm I had, the one with the yellow flames coming up the red hood... Yeah that one. His name was Red Dragon and I miss him. I bet you are asking yourself why the crap I would miss that ugly car that didn't have AC and smelled of gasoline. I'll tell you why: He was reliable.
R.E.L.I.A.B.L.E.
We purchased a new car in the beginning of July-ish. Ish because we did the cash for clunkers program, and turning that paperwork in was a pain in butt. I was at the dealership at least 1.5 times a week for a month. Yes, 1.5 times a week. But even though I made way too many visits to sign papers, the dealership is literally across the street. Good thing for them, I'd be much more upset if it was in the West Valley or something. End of issue one.
I'm a hard and late breaker. But I knew I wasn't bad enough to make the breaks vibrate and grind. And after multiple events of breaking, the sounds got worse. I should have framed my first visit to the dealership service department. I was told the wait would be about an hour. I ended up being there for almost three. Breaks fixed, end of issue two.
Since paper work took forever to finalize, eventually my temporary plate expired without ever getting a real live plate. I guess it got lost in the mail or something. So I drove around with an expired temporary plate for 14 days or so. Then the dealership just got me a new plate all together. End of issue three.
Now here is where the whole R.E.L.I.A.B.L.E things comes in. Welcome to issue four. I was sitting in the $5 car wash, not even a month ago, when my low coolant light came on. So naturally I looked at the car temperate. Red line! I thought to myself, "Seriously! A red line temperate reading and I am being drug through this automatic car wash!" After being dried by the airplane like wind force, I pull in to the vacuum station to let the car cool off. I call Brett and tell him something is wrong. After getting off the phone I proceed to vacuum my car out while it cools down a bit. After I'm done I turn the car on, vent the air into the car and pull out of the car wash. I need to call a tow truck and there is no way a tow truck is going to be able to do its job in that parking lot. I drive down the street into a neighborhood and pull over just as the temperate starts to move up from its normal reading. It's hot. I'm sweating. I hate car problems.
I call OnStar and they send me a tow truck, but it's not going to be here for an hour. Now I am very mad. I look under the hood, which won't do me much good cause I don't know a whole lot about cars, except how to fix Red Dragon. I find that the coolant overflow is completely empty. I decided that I'll just get some coolant and drive down there myself. But that plan did not work out. Eventually the tow truck shows up and drags my car to dealership. I explain to them what had happened. Obviously they keep it. I get this stripped Colbalt to drive around and I was not happy. It looked like something has peed on the back seat and smelled of body odor.
We get a call back from the dealership the next day. Here is their list of problems:
The radiator flushed its coolant into the engine.
Milky engine oil.
And after running some tests here was the conclusion:
Congratulations, your engine was cast with a flaw. Because of this flaw water decided to get out through the flaw because water cannot be compressed. We broke your engine.
And here is how they are going to fix it:
We are having an brand new engine sent to us from Michigan. So hold on to that Cobalt for about a week.
So. I was mad and laughing. There is absolutely nothing I can do about this broken engine. A few phone calls were made to some higher up GM people, then I decided to throw a bit of a fit. There was something I could fix. I wanted out of the crappy rental car. So I got a new one. About six days later they called and had everything fixed. Yay and end of issue four. Yes that was all issue four.
Currently I am living in issue five which started on Thursday. And right now I am driving a rental car till about Tuesday. Here is issue five. Brett and I are driving along to freeway and the check engine light comes on. Yay! The message center on the car says that the traction control needs to be services. Kay, not that big of an issue, we are busy and can take it in tomorrow. So I take the car in. By now I have become best friends with my service representative Hedi we talk about the problem. She runs a diagnostic on the car and it is misfiring at 79 mph. They won't be able to look at the car till the next day. So I get a rental car, smile and leave.
The following day I get a phone call and here is the problem:
We think you had a broken spark plug.
You have a sensor in your car that thinks it's only 40 degrees outside.
And here is how they are going to fix the problem:
We replaced all your spark plugs.
We have order your a new sensor from Michigan and it will be here Tuesday. So hold on to that rental till then.
And issue five still isn't over.
But I bet you want to know what issue six is, cause after we have this car in the shop for 30 cumulative days it becomes a lemon. When Tuesday comes around, we'll be sitting on 15 days.
